Time
by Nicoley117-TheBlueMartini
Summary: Post-ACOFAS. (Takes places during the teaser for the next book that's at the end of ACOFAS.) Feyre tells Cassian of her plan to help Nesta.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This fic contains SPOILERS for the teaser that is at the end of ACOFAS.

Here's a short little ficlet I wrote on the fly today. Usually I mull over fic ideas for a while before posting, but this one I just went ahead and wrote and decided to post immediately. Hope you enjoy this ficlet! :)

* * *

"What?"

Cassian couldn't believe what he was hearing. Surely, he misheard what Feyre was suggesting.

Feyre smiled uncomfortably from her spot on the couch as Cassian stood before her with his arms crossed against his chest. "I want you to take Nesta to the Illyrian Mountains," she repeated.

Turns out, Cassian had heard her correctly. "For a visit?"

"No," Feyre cleared her throat. "For a while."

"A while?" he asked incredulously. "To do what?"

Feyre sighed as she leaned her head back against the couch. "Cassian, I think Nesta needs to get out of Velaris. She needs a chance to heal, a chance to find purpose. You know how she's wasting each night away drinking, and you saw how she looked at the end-of-summer party…I think giving her the chance to train with the Illyrians would help her and strengthen her."

Cassian turned his body to gaze out the window that took up the whole wall and looked at the numerous trees surrounding Feyre and Rhysand's estate. "Train with the Illyrians…" Cassian repeated Feyre's words softly and let his voice trail off as he contemplated the idea.

"Maybe training will help her to release some of her anger too. I think she needs some time away from most of us… You could look after her, while also keeping Devlon in line."

That meant he would have to constantly deal with her stubbornness, her regular state of fury, her stream of insults towards him…A flash of irritation coursed through him at the thought, and a slight grimace appeared on his face.

"Despite how…difficult…she can be," Feyre began uneasily upon seeing the back of Cassian tense up. "I know you at least care for her, and I know you will try to take care of her."

Cassian closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. His past few interactions with Nesta had been infuriating and aggravating and made him want to pummel something.

And yet…

He still couldn't completely stay away from her.

Their moment on the battlefield surfaced in his mind - a moment that somehow everyone in Velaris seem to know about and one that he and Nesta had been unwilling to discuss - when he was gravely wounded and nearly died at the hands of the King of Hybern. Nesta chose to stay with him. To _die_ with him. She threw her body in front of his and would've died with him, if it weren't for Elain.

 _"I have no regrets in my life, but this. That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta. I will find you in the next world - the next life. And we will have that time. I promise,"_ he had told her when he thought they were about to perish.

Well somehow the gods had spared them both, and they were given a chance to live a new life. So far, Nesta had chosen to squander her new life away. Could he simply stand aside and let her continue down such a path?

He had made her a promise that they would have time in the next life. Could he really go back on that promise?

"Cassian, will you do it?" Feyre asked, breaking him away from the memory. "Will you take my sister to the Illyrian Mountains with you?"

It wouldn't be easy, especially since they both currently can hardly stand the other's presence…but somewhere beneath that cold exterior, the strong, fierce, and self-sacrificing Nesta he knew and adored was buried in there.

He needed to find her, but more importantly, _she_ needed to find herself too.

He couldn't give up on her.

"Yes," he replied. "I'll do it."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! I'm currently thinking of writing a 2nd part about Nesta's reaction to being told she's going to the Illyrian Mountains…we shall see! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Here is part 2! It Takes places right after the teaser for the next book that's at the end of ACOFAS, where Nesta reacts to Feyre and Cassian's plan.

* * *

"Excuse me?" Nesta said with a spark of outrage.

Cassian took a deep breath and prepared for the volcano that was Nesta Archeron to erupt with anger.

"You're coming with me to the Illyrian Mountains," he repeated calmly, praying she would not explode over this news. Maybe for once the gods would look down kindly upon him...

Nesta sat still and scowled at him.

"No," she replied sternly, crossing her arms against her chest. "I refuse."

Cassian groaned out of frustration, although he couldn't say he was surprised at her stubbornness. Lately, it had been so hard to get through to her, let alone have a decent conversation with her that didn't end with him stewing in anger. His patience with her attitude was wearing thin.

Feyre quickly interjected before Cassian could speak again.

"Staying in Velaris is not an option. We've given you job opportunities, and yet you've chosen none. Instead, you have been squandering the money we've freely given you. If you go to the Illyrian Mountains, you'll still be given an allowance. But if you choose not to go, then we will no longer financially support your current lifestyle."

"And what exactly am I supposed to do in the Illyrian Mountains?" Nesta wondered, still speaking in a loud, annoyed tone.

"With the Illyrians, you can learn how to cook, clean, and train to become a warrior," Cassian answered, miraculously still managing to restrain himself from raising his voice.

"I know how to cook and clean," she stated snobbishly.

"Oh sure, the current state of your apartment and your unhealthily thin body are prime examples of that," Cassian replied sarcastically.

Nesta scrunched up her nose, clearly still fuming. "Why would I need to become a warrior?"

"So you can defend yourself."

"I've been able to take care of myself!" she exclaimed sharply.

"Your bullshit behavior proves otherwise," Cassian spat back emphatically, unable to reign in his rage.

Nesta let out a frustrated groan as she stood up with her hands curled up into fists at her sides. "What makes you all think that you can dictate and decide what I do in life?" she said as she glanced around at the faces of Cassian, Feyre, Rhysand, and Amren. "First, I had _no_ choice when I was turned into a Fae. Now I am forced to live life as a Fae and have _no_ choice in how I do so?!"

Cassian's breath stilled upon hearing her words.

While Nesta's voice was full of rage, he could see a trace of sadness in her steel eyes.

Feyre gave her a sorrowful look. "Nesta…" she said softly. "We just want to help you."

Nesta just shook her head and strolled out of the room.

Cassian stared at the spot where he had last seen her standing as his mind processed what she had just said. Feyre, Rhysand, and Amren all sat in silence, and he assumed they were all rethinking if their plan for her was the best idea.

But he wished she understood what he saw. In the days since Feyre told him of her plan, the more he realized that among the Illyrians would be a right fit for her. She was a woman of strength. She persevered. She was a survivor. She had a fire within her that didn't need to be tamed but unleashed. One that could help ignite the female Illyrians to be bold and want to fight.

With a sigh, Cassian stood up to go after her. He couldn't let her go on feeling like that. She needed to understand...even though he knew whatever they'd say to each other next would likely just be more anger-filled words toward each other. But he had to at least try to get through to her.

When he exited Feyre and Rhys' home, he immediately found her stalking along the nearby river heading in the direction of the city.

The way the sunlight filtered through the tall trees around them and shone upon her golden-brown hair made her look angelic...except the irritated look on her face dispelled that notion.

The various branches and leaves upon the ground crunched beneath his feet as he charged towards her. "Nesta!" he called out.

Her pace quickened right after he spoke. "Go away," she yelled back without even looking behind her.

Cassian in turn picked up his pace so he was within arm's reach of her. He stretched out his hand and grabbed her elbow to stop her before she could bolt away. "Nesta," he said gently.

"Don't touch me!" she shouted as she tugged her arm away from him. Cassian instantly dropped her elbow as if he had been burned by the contact.

"Nesta, we just want to help you."

Nesta halted and turned around to face him. "Tell me, Cassian, do _you_ honestly want me to go to the Illyrian Mountains with you?"

"Yes," he said firmly.

"Liar," she fired back.

"It's the truth!"

"Why?" she yelled in his face. "Why would you want me to go with you?!"

"Because I... I want you to heal from all you've had to suffer. I want you to see that your life is worth living. I want you to _enjoy_ life as a Fae," he answered in a more fiery tone than he had intended. "I want the brave woman who was on the battlefield willing to die with me back," he added softly.

Nesta's body froze at his words and her previously irritated facial expression evolved into one that was emotionless. He had brought up the one thing they had had an unspoken agreement to never discuss.

She looked down at the grass beneath her feet, contemplating his words, and declined to gift him with a incensed retort. A strand of her hair fell out of its bun when she shifted her head. Instinctively, Cassian reached out his hand with the intention of pushing it behind her ear, but was quick to stop himself upon remembering Nesta's demand that he not touch her. He dropped his hand back at his side.

"We've all been affected by the war in different ways," Cassian continued quietly. "We all have our own ways to cope and heal. And we think there's a chance that learning from the Illyrians will help you find your strength again. We only want you to go because we want you to be _free_ from this pain."

"Who says I'm in pain?" Nesta lifted her head to stare defiantly back at Cassian.

"Your behavior," he sternly replied.

"I get money whenever I want, drink whenever I want, and sleep with whoever I want," she explained sharply. "I'm fine."

"Now who's the liar?" Cassian's anger began to surface once more.

"Listen, you lunk, you don't know how I feel!"

"Then, please enlighten me," Cassian pleaded, still frustrated.

Nesta crossed her arms against her chest and shook her head as she turned away from him.

Cassian took a deep breath to cool down his anger. "Are you happy?" he asked calmly while staring at the back of her head.

The two stood in silence for a moment, listening only to the sounds of the breeze rushing through the leaves in the trees.

"I don't feel anything, Cassian," she stated seriously. "I feel nothing."

Once again, Cassian fought the urge to reach out and touch her. He wanted to grab her shoulder and turn her around to face him. Instead, he walked around her body to face her once more.

"Do you want to be happy?"

Nesta shrugged. "Life's easier when you can't feel anything."

Cassian refrained from letting out a grunt of frustration at her stubbornness. She had allowed the darkness of her grief to consume her. He still had to find a way to pull her out of this...

"Is there anything I can do to make you want to go?" He didn't want her to feel like she had no choice in going to the Illyrian Mountains. Perhaps there was _something_ he could do that would make it more appealing to her...

She stared at the ground for a bit, appearing deep in thought, as they listened to the wind brush through nearby bushes.

Finally, she turned her head up toward him, squinting in the sunlight.

"Treat me as one of the Illyrians," Nesta began seriously. "Never speak of the Inner Circle to me. Don't ever bring up our encounter with Hybern on the battlefield. Never mention anything regarding any of our...interactions before now. You might as well forget that any of them ever happened, and act like you don't know me."

Cassian didn't break eye contact with her as she said this. Instead, he stared into her blue-gray eyes as various memories of her surfaced in his mind.

 _Their titillating interaction when he was sent to her home and kissed her throat, followed by her kneeing him in between his legs..._

 _Those days he'd visit her at the House of Wind after she had been turned into a Fae to try to talk to her. The one moment post-battle when she nearly revealed that she was upset he hadn't come by to say hello..._

 _How perceptive she was one night to realize that his arm was injured after another skirmish. The gentleness of her touch as she wrapped his wrist..._

 _The desperation in her voice as she cried out to him. A cry that he heard above the battle around him and prevented him from being obliterated by the Cauldron's blast._

 _How she couldn't leave his side despite his pleas for her to go when he thought he'd die on the battlefield. The softness of her lips when she'd allowed him to give her a light goodbye kiss..._

Nesta interrupted his thoughts, evidently getting impatient with him. "If I go with you, do you promise not to bring up any of those things?"

How could he just forget all that happened between them? How could that be the one thing that would make her willing to go? Was he so unworthy that she regretted all that occurred between them? The thought brought an ache to his chest.

He could only hope that in time, the Nesta he knew would return. If this is what it would take, then he was willing to do it.

Ignoring the pain he felt within him, he answered. "I promise," he said solemnly.

Nesta's eyes didn't light up at his words, nor did her mouth curve into a smile. Instead, she remained impassive as she nodded. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow."

* * *

 **A/N:** So I originally had a more hopeful ending in mind...but then I realized it's probably going to take a lot for Nesta to be okay with going to the Illyrian Mountains, so this went in a more angsty direction...

(But now I feel inspired to write more hopeful Nessian oneshots to make up for it lol.)

Thanks for reading! :)


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